Well, here we are again! Another year another dollar. Is it just me, or are the years going faster and faster these days?
First and foremost, I am so sorry for being so terrible at keeping up with those I hold nearest and dearest. But I hope My Annual Christmas/Holiday Newsletter will cover some of the ground I have let fall through the cracks. It has been an incredible year for me and me. I have no interest in writing a novel, so let me just bullet point the major activities of my zany, lovely life. So here we go:
Well, it was just this February when the day I always knew would happen happened. I realized the lines on my forehead would never go away. Even when slack faced. Like someone was constantly standing behind me, stretching dental floss across my cranium. I can’t help but be thankful that the wait for that one is over.
And around a month ago, I finally made the big decision I’ve been waiting to make for years. I decided to never get a dog and never dress that dog in a Santa Hat or a rain coat and take pictures of it. I have so many people who have stood by me during this decision. Too many to thank here. But I have to throw a shout out to my upstairs, Russian neighbor who shouted to me from her window last Thursday “YOU DRINK TOO MUCH!” It takes a village.
I took a picture of my guitar.
And I also took a picture of an artsy mailbox in Queens.
But enough of me. What else has been going on in the world? Back in September, a friend of mine posted a picture of a bread she baked on Facebook. I enjoyed a good two weeks of feeling superior about my life.
July 14th, I had a threesome. And while it was my first, it was also my favorite. I’m not going to bore you with all of the details and videos. Just know it was a hell of a time. And I must say, I am much, much, like a hell of a lot worse in bed than I thought I was.
Just two weeks ago, I took a picture of myself with my own computer. I am looking away like someone else is taking it, and I’m not alone in my own room at 8:30 p.m.
“Oh what was that you said? I didn’t quite hear you?”
Sometimes, late at night (or 8:57 pm) I like to make out with my own foot.
Lastly, but not leastly, I had this amazing…oh wait? what was that?
Oh sorry, that was just me looking at my computer in a hot way with old photos behind me…
Oh My God! So Embarrassing…all my shit out there like that…gross! Don’t even write me to tell me how pretty I am, or do, or whatever, I don’t even care. Sick.
Happy Holidays From The Miller!!